A chicken with its head cut off January 28, 2019

On my path toward financial independence, I notice my financial awareness comes and goes in waves.

At one extreme, I'm devoted to my frugal lifestyle. I cook at home. I only go to cafes for $4 coffee when I'm meeting friends. I invite friends over for dinner. My partner and I cook. I take inventory of my things and use what I have.

But then, there's the other extreme. I call it the chicken with its head cut off extreme. I mindlessly buy $4 coffee after $4 coffee while I work, distracted by the tiresome surroundings of a crowded cafe. I go out to lunch at restaurants whose food is great, but which has worn on me as I've eaten there so many times. I buy clothes not out of necessity or comfort, but to evoke a sense of fashion. I buy gadgets to fill a void in my heart that could have just as easily been filled by a ten-minute meditation.

In the FIRE community, there's rightful enthusiasm for the position of f*ck you. But at the mindless, consumption-oriented end of the spectrum of financial acumen lies a different position: the position of f*ck it. The proverbial chicken with its head cut off.

In striving for financial independence, we tell ourselves we're on a path toward "freedom." But the very notion of freedom is meaningless if not properly defined. After all, the position of f*ck it, the position of a chicken with its head cut off—that sounds awfully free. It's doing whatever you want whenever you want to. And fundamental financial independence ideal—the idea that you'll be hyper-frugal and save today for a better tomorrow—sounds like the opposite of freedom.

So maybe "freedom" isn't the right word. Maybe what we're striving for is autonomy. The sense that we're in control of our lives, as much as we can be. That we're free to say no. That we control our time, even if that means we relinquish the convenience of meals out and the perceived prestige of fancy cars.

Would you say a chicken with its head cut off is autonomous? I don't think so.