July 9, 2005
I have finally found a faith I can live by! Buddhism has literally changed my life in the last week alone. I am so enthused by a religion with no worship — only meditation. A religion that I may practice as I please — in which awareness and living supercede belief and fear. I have never felt so alive in my life.
Upon appreciating the moment for what it is rather than what it could be, a blanket of fears is lifted away and one realizes the true meaning of existence: to live the joy of existence itself. Filling the voids of one’s life only manifests more problems; simply accept these voids and jump over them. Realize that the universe is the way it is and that there is no particular reason for it. Even if we knew all the answers to life’s questions, would we be more fulfilled? Would we even be able to accept them as the last thread of the unknown, or would we become so terribly bored without the aspiration to know the unknown?
For instance, if God does exist and he is the true creator of the universe, then how did s/he get here? We cannot imagine a world with boundaries yet we cannot conceptualize a world without them. If the universe has an end, what’s on the other side? Likewise if the universe is infinite, how could we ever prove it before we die?
I am finally conceding to the one thing that held me back — curiousity is integral to an enjoyable life. Without chance, problems, and chaos, life loses all excitement. I would rather be confused and in danger than retain complete knowledge and security. What would be the reason for living?