That feeling when you want to give up

Marketing yourself sure is an anxious chore. I'm plenty qualified for all sorts of full-time jobs, but I'm resolute against taking one since I know I work best when I'm free.

What does freedom mean to me?

Freedom means the ability to wake up when my body tells me instead of when an alarm sounds its siren. It means I can take some time between clients to ride my bicycle around town casually without worrying that I need to return to the office. It means I'm not burdened by day-to-day inter-office politics. That I can provide immense value without being physically present.

But it's tough out there. Not in the economic sense; there's probably plenty of work to be done. But marketing yourself as a consultant is no easy task. Most consultants probably wouldn't admit such a thing on their website for fear of being perceived as a failure or a fake.

I'm not afraid of that because I know my value, but I am afraid of failure. I'm afraid I'll soon be applying for jobs and working 40 hours per week and giving up on this whole consulting thing for good. Which is humorous in its own way given the fact I'm nowhere near failing. But that's how fear works, isn't it?